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Listen to the Silence

from Journeys by iFollow

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about

An intense Spoken Word track about the pain of going through life alone.

lyrics

Listen to the silence... Let it penetrate your soul
Hold on to the quiet and, if you try it, you will know
That silence is a gateway to our own inmost parts
That in the silence we can't help but see the depths of our own hearts Some of us spend our lives in silence
Others just spend time
Trying to hide and deprive themselves
Of the truth inside their minds
There's a reason why silence is uncomfortable
There's a reason so many avoid it
When something shows us we are not what we'd hoped
It's no wonder we try to destroy it
Just come look at the string of lies I've spun to make myself feel adequate
The web got so convoluted it's almost elegant the way that I fashioned it You don't know the half of it
Is what I spat at those who would question it
Anger became my ambulance
It would rescue my heart every time I wrestled with the silence
But then again, I guess rescue isn't the best choice of word
It's absurd now to think that those bursts of rage
Ever 'rescued' me from anything. I mean sure
They'd curb the pain
But two thirds of the time even that was in vain
Because of the burden they left in it's place. What remained
Was a chain of shame and regret
That I still find it hard to face to this day
My grave
The place where I buried my song
My headstone read here lies a man who died alone
This heart that had grown as cold
As the daggers of ice that were thrown at me
Through the chosen words of others
Enemies. Friends. Family
Regardless of their intention, I had no direction left to run
I mean come on, not even one?
God not even one place of safety?
Was it too much to ask for to have one shelter from the storm?
One place where I could run for a soft touch to keep me warm?
But every blessing comes with pain
Every stronghold that I found in an attempt to hold back the rain
Left me exposed to slings and arrows that would aim to have me slain
With every new attack the silence grew
Until I was suffocating under a veil of black
Extending from my own heart. Every voice was one I knew
And they're words, too, were ones I recognized
They were lies I've bought so many times
That they became ingrained in my very being
Disguised as truth they pumped through my veins
Delivering poison to every organ
So resilient that the flow sustained even when the words changed
I came into a new place
Where on the surface
People said things like "be yourself"
And it worked for a term
I bandaged the hurts and put salve on the burns
But the final purpose it served
Was to show me that my self was still worthless
If I wanted to work this thing called life
Then I had to purchase a new personality
The one I had couldn't get a wife
Would never be a father, could never build a life
I was introduced to a new word: immature
The catch-all when they weren't sure what you were
But they knew that in their diagnosis
You were closer to sickness than cure
I was taught to think severity was to be equated with maturity
There seemed to be this thought that only a child ever smiled
And maybe they were right
But it caused a lot of pain and insecurity
When I realized maturity was something out of sight
You see smiling had become how I coped with pain
Laughter was how I grieved
Joy was how I'd kiss the wounds and try to heal the broken parts of me
But those who learn learn quick, they say
And I am no exception
I learned that candor doesn't pay
And to bottle up rejection ’til it blows
That's what I chose.
And just before I closed the door
To the shattered pieces left on the floor of my soul
I chose one thing more
I chose to leave
I chose to leave my hopes and dreams as they started to rot
Beneath the splintered beams that had once held them aloft
I chose to leave the thought of ever finding love
Because love was a notion only kept by those who were above
The unwritten status that I was apparently born into
My heart was torn beyond repair
But then I stopped
Just as I was about to seal it there
A crippled organ that could no longer beat
The last part of my humanity forever abandoned to defeat
I saw You
So the door stayed open
In spite of the loss of everything I'd put my hope in
The one thing I could not bring myself to abandon
Was You

credits

from Journeys, released June 16, 2015
Lyrics and Vocals - iFollow

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about

iFollow Winnipeg, Manitoba

iFollow is an independent artist based out of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. He brings to the table a unique and refreshing blend of hip hop, folk, spoken word, and acoustic stylings that weave their way from light-hearted and gentle to powerful and poignant. Being a fan of a whole gamut of musical genres himself, variety is the name of the game and iFollow hopes to deliver something for everyone. ... more

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